THE POSTURE OF MARRIAGE

Pastor Eli Nelson

The Posture of Marriage: A Biblical Perspective on Love, Respect, and Commitment

At My City Church, we believe that strong relationships are built on biblical principles. Whether you are single, dating, engaged, or married, understanding God’s design for marriage is essential for building healthy, thriving relationships.

In this week’s message, Pastor Elishaun teaches from Ephesians 5, where Paul outlines the roles of husbands and wives and the importance of love, submission, and unity in marriage.

Ephesians 5:21-25 – The Foundation of Biblical Marriage

📖 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church... Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Marriage is not about control—it’s about mutual love, respect, and spiritual growth.

1️⃣ Pre-Decide Your Commitment – Marriage Requires Intentionality

Marriage is not about feelings but about pre-decisions—choosing in advance how you will respond to challenges.

💡 Key Takeaways:
✔️ Decide in advance to be faithful, loving, and selfless.
✔️ Challenges will come—commit to working through them together.
✔️ Marriage requires a long-term mindset, not a temporary one.

📖 Joshua 24:15 – “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

🚨 Avoid the Common Pitfall: Living together before marriage creates an “exit” mentality instead of a “commitment” mindset. Marriage is built on covenant, not convenience.

2️⃣ The Role of Wives – Submission Through Trust & Respect

Submission is not about inferiority—it’s about trust and partnership. Just as the church submits to Christ, a wife honors her husband’s leadership in a way that fosters love, security, and spiritual growth.

📖 1 Peter 3:1-4 – “Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands... so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”

💡 What Submission Looks Like:
✔️ Trusting your husband’s decisions, even when you don’t fully understand them.
✔️ Encouraging and supporting his leadership in the home.
✔️ Speaking life into him instead of criticizing or undermining him.

🚨 Avoid This Mistake: Constantly questioning his decisions can make him feel inadequate. Instead of saying, “Why are you doing it that way?”, try asking, “What’s your thought process behind this?”

🙌 Truth: A wife’s respect fuels a husband’s love, and a husband’s love fuels a wife’s respect.

3️⃣ The Role of Husbands – Love Through Leadership & Sacrifice

A husband’s primary role is to love his wife as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, unconditionally, and selflessly.

📖 Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

💡 What Loving Leadership Looks Like:
✔️ Prioritizing your wife’s needs and emotions.
✔️ Taking responsibility for spiritual growth in the home.
✔️ Leading with humility, not domination.

🚨 Avoid This Mistake: Thinking leadership means control. True biblical leadership is about serving and elevating your spouse, not demanding submission.

🙌 Truth: A husband who loves sacrificially will naturally lead a wife who submits willingly.

4️⃣ The 4 P’s of a Godly Husband

Every man should embody these four key roles in marriage:

🔥 1. Priest – Leads his family in faith and prayer.
🔥 2. Prophet – Speaks life, vision, and correction into the home.
🔥 3. Provider – Ensures financial and emotional security.
🔥 4. Protector – Defends his family’s spiritual and emotional well-being.

💡 Action Steps for Husbands:
✔️ Pray over your wife and family daily.
✔️ Speak words of encouragement, not criticism.
✔️ Be financially responsible—your leadership should bring security, not stress.
✔️ Protect your home from harmful influences.

🚨 Avoid This Mistake: Ignoring your wife’s emotional needs. Love is more than providing—it’s also about connection and intimacy.

🙌 Truth: Strong husbands create strong families.

5️⃣ Growing Together – Pursuing God in Your Marriage

The best way to grow closer to your spouse is to grow closer to God.

📖 Matthew 6:33 – “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

💡 Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage Spiritually:
✔️ Pray together daily.
✔️ Study the Bible and discuss its application in your marriage.
✔️ Attend church and serve together.
✔️ Surround yourselves with godly mentors and accountability.

🚨 Avoid This Mistake: Thinking marriage is just about romance. A strong marriage is built on faith, friendship, and purpose.

🙌 Truth: When both spouses pursue God, they naturally grow closer to one another.

Final Thoughts – A Thriving Marriage Requires Work & Wisdom

No marriage is perfect, but every marriage can grow when built on God’s Word, love, and commitment.

🔥 Action Steps to Apply Today:
✅ Husbands, lead with love and selflessness.
✅ Wives, trust and support your husband’s leadership.
✅ Both, commit to spiritual growth and open communication.
✅ Join a small group or marriage class to strengthen your relationship.

📢 Want to strengthen your marriage? Join our Marriage & Relationship Course at My City Church!